School on a Monday?

I'm in Virginia!
I went to South Carolina to see my uncle, and have him do my senior pictures. I am SO good looking...
And now I'm in Richmond visiting sister #3. I'm watching some Sunday NFL.
I don't like professional football. I like college football, but not the NFL, and I think i figured out why...
1: These people get paid nearly 1,000,000 dollars a YEAR! They, however, only provide entertainment, and don't contribute to society except to entertain. They, however, are not in the same boat as Movie Stars, because movies, and some actors, actually contribute to society.
2: Professional football players don't do anything with their lives except play football, but they still end up millionaires. Stupid, muscular, undeserving millionaires. When we have teachers that can barely support themselves.
3: It's just...guh...Idk. I just don't like it. They're all old and run slowly...

So since I'm in Virginia, and that's 12 hours away from home, I'll be missing Monday. This'll be the 3rd Monday of no school for me. Last weekend was a teacher's thing, and the week before that was Labor Day. Hence the name.

I went to the doctor's a few days ago because I have a cough that sounds like a dog bark. It shakes the windows and disturbs all of my classes when I do it. All of the kids look at me and think that I deliberately cough that loud. I don't.

The doctor just so happens to be MLA's father. He doesn't like me at all, and made it known when I was there...I'd tell more but I'm really lazy...

Update on M: I found out that she didn't delete her Facebook, as I thought... She actually blocked me... Like I originally thought... Lovely. My plan might be to mail her a letter... I have from a source that she might be coming around and might actually talk to me again. Hopefully....

College (not deep)

1/3rd of the way through a 3-day weekend.
It's a college weekend. I'm at FSU.
"Where all of your dreams will come true!"
They beat JSU 19-9. Sounds good right?
They did terrible. Everything went wrong. It was incredibly lucky that they won.
I saw my friend who's in the FSU band. She could have kicked better than the FSU kicker.
OSU lost. Unsurprising. But still depressing.
Michigan beat #18 Notre Dame!
Today, when the sun comes up, I'm gonna get a tour of campus. Should be fun.
Monday, I get to see sister #1 in action at her high school teaching math!
Every period, I'm gonna change my story of where I came from...
Alaska...
Canada...
Germany maybe? I can't do a German accent.
I have a cough that breaks windows and makes dogs howl. People mistake it for a sneeze.
Should be fun...
Then I go see MLA at her college!!
Should be fun.
Too bad her college sucks and I'm not even allowed in her room.
Then home. Swim meet Tuesday. Exciting indeed.


Update on Big Fat Truck: I'm contemplating whether I should call P and talk to him man-to-man about what I think and what he thinks. It'd be the adult thing to do...

Update on M: since BFT happened, I've been thinking of fixing that problem a little sooner than planned, since now I sit near her at lunch, which, you know, kills me slowly. But I still don't know what to do...

-Æ

Big fat truck

I met this guy. We'll call him P He seemed nice. Became good friends with him. We liked generally the same things. Hung out a lot. He was once mistaken as my "best friend."

The thing with him was that he was just awful with girls. He wasn't socially awkward with them. He actually attracted just about all of them. The only problem with him was that he, for some reason, couldn't handle the relationship scene, and just bounced the girl out of his life for reasons unknown and then turn it around to make it her fault. I saw him do this to at least 2 different girls (during our junior year) and then one more girl that's a bit more important to the story. We'll call her S.

So S is the new in girl for P. They never actually officially dated (as most people assumed)

But they practically were. Without actual physical interaction for some apparent reason.

And this goes on. Then they "break up" or whatever you want to call it. He bounces her out. Then he bounces her back in. Then back out again. And now a trilogy seemed on the horizon. They start "talking" as my friend MLA likes to refer it as.

He ALSO starts talking with my friend MLA. Fortunately the two girls were in different countries at the time. And they were never really friends, so P was in the clear, partially.

So (this is what I get from sources to be left anonymous) he talks with MLA, S, and a third girl.

"Talking" by the way is 1) The act of discussing the possibility of dating. 2) the process of getting to know a person before officially dating.

So P is talking to 3 girls. 2 of them start talking and that blows up in his face. However, since he's a professional at taking the screw ups he's made and manipulate them into just another day in the life of P.

But this 3rd girl, S, still hangs on. (Somehow)

And nothing severe happens until school starts. They go back to their "talking" with little to no results.

All of a sudden, she does something that just explodes into some sort of fight. He bounces her out, again.

She finally flies right and realizes that she shouldn't have to deal with his crap any more.

And I think I have figured out his philosophy.

He is incredibly self centered. He only thinks about himself and what he can do to keep himself happy. When he is "talking" with a girl, he goes as far as he can with the "relationship" until one thing goes wrong (regardless of who's fault it is) and then he just stops caring and bounces the girl right out again.

I've seen it done so many times I could smell it happening if I was 1,000 miles away!

So this girl once sat with us at lunch for a while. She gets bounced out, and then one day I go sit by her. I don't really like sitting there because M, the girl from my last post, sits around there and I get a big knot in my stomach when I'm around her...

I go sit by her, we talk about how big of an A-hole P has become to both of us, for no apparent reason.

Later that day, he starts conversing with my girlfriend (I'll tell you about her in another post) and says things to her that I told him in confidence. Of course the lovely thing about P is that if you want to tell him something, you better be ready to see it plastered over the cover of the New Yorker. So now she gets upset, and I get upset, and P just starts being more and more of a jerk.
This brings me to my 2nd note on the P philosophy:
Even someone who was once mistaken as his best friend, can just out of the blue get on his bad side, he twists it around in a way to make me seem like the jerk, and then just becomes worst enemies with me, all at the drop of a hat.

So now we will see if things can get better. I don't want to not be friends with the guy, he's nice sometimes, S and I agree, but now he's just in one of his A-hole moods and I'm getting dragged along for the ride. He needs to realize that when true friendship stares him right in the face, that he shouldn't just throw it away over something stupid.

I titled this "Big Fat Truck" because when I first started writing it, I wanted to throw him in front of one.

And if he is reading this, please know, P that if you don't stop acting incredibly self-centered, cocky, and arrogant, more of your friends will leave you, you will never have a decent relationship, and you will (hopefully) realize the err of your ways and go back to the P we all knew and didn't hate. The first thing you should try is to stop smoking pot, again.

M

So last year, I started dating this girl. We'll call her M. She was the best person I've ever had the honor to date. We were great for each other and had lots of fun. Then around my birthday, I T.P.ed my worst enemy's house who just happened to be one of her ex-boyfriends. She doesn't want me to do it but me and a few friends do it anyway. The next day, I find out that she calls him and tells him that I did it. So I get pissed and I break up with her. But then I had some time to think, to reassess our relationship. I did, and I realized I made a huge mistake, and I got her back.
And life was good.
Then I started thinking, (unfortunately) and then one week later, I call her up and say that we've "drifted apart" and a bunch of other B.S. I know now that that is a ridiculous reason for the circumstances because since we had a fight one week prior, we never even got to go on a date or anything to reconnect and realized how much we loved each other... So my reason was bogus... I think it might have been because the relationship was getting too real for me, and that scared me? I don't know...

But I did it. I broke up with her, again. We still wanted to be friends and we did stay friends. I even took her home one day and... nevermind...

So we try and stay friends, and it works for a while. But then we start acting a mean to each other because we still liked one another. However we stick through it and try to stay friends. We always apologized about whatever we did to make eachother mad at that moment in time. Just back and forth apology after apology.
The fights start getting worse and we start thinking one of us is mad at the other.
Then it just simmered in a vat of annoyance and arguments.
She stops liking to talk to me (expected)
She stops liking me all (also expected)
I, instead of try to solve the problem (if that's even possible) open up an entirely new fight. This, however, is the last straw, the end of the line. The next time I talked to her I tried to smooth things over. Her response?
"please leave me alone forever
i have no interest in talking to you
whatsoever
is that clear ?
now back off"

Knife through the heart...
The only girl I truly loved...
But I brought it upon myself, so please don't feel bad for me.
So what do I do now? Well, I've been trying what I think will work to try and get her to talk to me, because to this day, 3+ months later, She hasn't said a word do me. Not face to face, not on the phone, not via internet... nothing...
The only things I've really been trying was talk to her friends who are also my friends and see if her opinion of me has changed...it has not...
One of our mutual friends had a birthday party and M said to her that if I come that she'll leave until I leave... I deserve that...
All I want is to talk to her... I see her every day at school... and every time I do I bite the inside of my mouth to try and keep my composure...

I've run out of ideas for me to do. I'm thinking about mailing her a letter... although I doubt she'll open it...

If she wants to talk to me, regardless, whether she just had a breakup, or if she wants to yell at me for all of the things I've done to her, I'll be glad to listen...

And if she's reading this, then I'd just like to say that I'm sorry, and I hope you will find it in your heart to talk to me again... even if I don't deserve it...

Update, Dec 13, 2009: I know i usually update on new Blogs, but I've decided to not do that any more, and I don't want eeveryone to see this and think i'm insane,
but anyways
M had unblocked me
I can't put into words what emotions I feel, but I'll just say that they are positive ones.