Alex Goes to Ohio; Writes a blog about it.

Part One: Friday
My dad got us tickets to the OSU-Minnesota game a month ago, and this weekend, we flew up to Ohio. Before we hopped onto the plane, I went to the crappy convenient-store type place at the airport where the gates are, after you go through security. My DSi is dead and my iPod is at home, so I figure why not find the book I really want to read, Jane Austen and Seth IDRC's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Unfortunately, this crapshack excuse for a bookstore did not have the book, it did however have Glenn Beck's new piece of kindling. Instead, I select a book that I saw an aquaintance read, and enjoy, about a year prior. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, by Tucker Max. I start reading it on the plane, and immediately realize the graphic nature of this literature. It is, in short, about a guy telling stories of his life of being an alcoholic man-whore. It is rather entertaining, although I refuse to allow my father to even look at the book, because I knew he'd start lecturing me about it being vile filth.

We land in Ohio, meet my grandparents, have dinner, and go to their house. They live in one of the smallest towns I have ever seen. It has one single stop light, and a McDonalds. That's.About.It.

Part Two: Game Day (Saturday)
Now, I have never lived in Ohio for more than like two weeks, and that's only because I was on an extended vacation, because my life is oh so hard. My father, however, has successfully brainwashed me, since birth, to like, and support Ohio State over any other team. And when I go into full on support mode, it means red. and lots of it. I have collected a full on costume of Ohio State clothing and accessories ranging from Ohio State underwear, to a wrist band that says 'Beat Michigan,' to Ohio State socks that go up to my mid-shin, to an Ohio State blanket that I use as a cape. I, of course, wear all of these things along with everything else Ohio State except for my Jeans. My favorite part of the outfit is the socks that I wear with my Ohio State flip flops. Sounds like a good idea, sort of, but add in the 49 degree weather with a wind chill of the last layer of Hell, and you get some problems...
We arrive in Columbus and find parking in some company's parking lot with a man in front collecting money to let us park. Not uncommon on game day. However, this man appeared as if his last warm meal was in a soup kitchen and that his favorite sport is to sit on a corner with a paper cup filled with nickles! (For those of you who don't understand what I'm saying, he appears to be a bum)
We give him the fifteen, yes FIFTEEN dollars to park there, and he gives us a ticket that could have been bought at a staples no less than a day ago. I smelled a scam, which, if it was, I would have applauded the man for such a successful plot to get money, and would have gladly bought him a hot dog, or some shampoo...

I look around as we walk, seeing everybody wearing their OSU clothing. Generally when i wear the full outfit, I feel rather out of place, especially when you live in (State far form Ohio) when everybody supports (Football team that Ohio State lost to a few years ago) However, even though I'm redder than an apple, feel at home. Although I am the only one at the game wearing flip-flops. Force of habit I guess...
We walk to the Horse Shoe (The Ohio State football Stadium) and take our seats. This, however, was quite difficult since we were ion the C deck in the nose bleeds and there was a line for the elevator filled with old people. The game begins..There is a Sea of Scarlet and Gray..The kickoff..ooooooooOOOOOOOO O-H-I-O!!

The first half is a bit of a drag, but when that second half came, Tressel turned them all into a higher gear, because they just creamed em! The final score was 38-7. It would have been a shut out, but the Golden Gophers manage to make a touchdown late in the fourth. We watch the band do script Ohio, and walk back to the car. We get to stop by a book store so I can buy my own copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. We get back to the car, and go back to my grandparents' house. My sister(3) and her boyfriend Brett have driven up here from Virginia, or wherever they live. Brett separated his shoulder playing touch football with a team that's filled bunch of girls. He is thus renamed Brettany. (Clever, no?)

We eat dinner, and play some Blokus. (For those of you who don't know what Blokus is, figure it out.) After slaughtering everyone, we all head in, and I keep reading my book. It makes me want to become a cocky a**hole, but then I realize...I'm already a cocky a**hole... oh well...

Part three: Alex gets hit in the face with a football; hilarity ensues.

I get home, go out to eat with my parents, aunt, and uncle. I take S with me to Frizbee. I want to date her but I'm stuck in the friend zone...typical...
We're playing football, i'm on defense guarding a guy, i know the ball is getting thrown to him, i put my hands in front of his, and BAM! ball hits me right on the right side of my eye. It sucks but I'm not a pansy. I get laughed at for the rest of the game, and the rest of the time there. Idc.

I'm done with this blog


-Æ