(Insert Title Here)

This is the part when I start complaining about how crappy my life is, and how terrible things are for me.

This is the part when I talk about how another girl has played me for the fool.

This is the part when I start questioning the purpose of my life.

This is the part when I say "What's the point any more?"

This is the part when I start talking about how depressed I am.

This is the part when I complain about my teenage angst, the thing that infects countless others on this planet.

This is the part when I start asking "why is this happening to me?"

This is the part when I start begging for the reader's sympathy.

This is the part when I continue to talk about how depressed I am.

This is the part when I quote someone because I'm not smart enough to come up with original material.

This is the part when I start venting out all of my frustration because I have no other place to vent this very second.

This is the part when I say "I'm so sick of everyone's drama."

This is the part when I drown my sorrows in the lyrics of a song because I'm not clever enough to comprehend my own feelings, so I lean upon a song because of my emotional problems

This is the part when I start complaining about my pointless emotional problems...

It's amazing really, how the outcome of a single event can leave you on either an emotional high, or an emotional low. I'll let you guess on which one I'm on. These emotions cannot be trusted. Non of them do me any good. I feel I should be exempt from dealing with all the dumb stuff that every other human being on this planet has to go through, because I have the logical reasoning to break everything down into cause and effect, and other psychological reasoning. Too bad I'm trapped in the same dimension as the other 6.7 billion people on this doomed planet.
I thought I could change the rules and still thrive.
In order to succeed on this earth, you must abide by its rules.
I can't do anything without the all mighty dollar.
I can't get the all mighty dollar without the help of the evils of advertisement.
And then what? I become what I am trying to fight against. Corporate America. There is nothing worse.

How can I disrupt the established order without causing physical harm to anyone, and without long-term negative consequences? In short, how can I break the rules?

This is the part when I say something clever, and then stop typing

-Æ

Rules of the Road.

Just to let you know, this post is not really about the rules of the road, or about roads at all. It's not really about rules either, but whatever...
Apparently
Some people
Have read this
And said that it sucked
Oh wait, that's me
I just wanted to let some of my readers know some stuff about me and how I'm gonna run this show
-I update whenever I feel like it, so don't wake up early on the 3rd Wednesday of the month and say "OOH! That Alex kid wrote a NEW BLOG!" Because I probably didn't.
-Every time, in previous posts, when I said things like "I'll tell you later" and "I'll put that in another post," I was Lying! I vary rarely update things from previous posts on new posts, nor do I start up a subject that I already talked about (Rule subject to change under my discretion)
-From now on, I shall update previous posts on the post itself, that way you suckers gotta go back nd read em again to see if I changed anything. I already changed two of them, but I wont tell you which one of theM I changed.
-If you want to tell me how awesome I am, you can email me if you'd like, but that might be weird...
-What was I talking about again?
-I like comments, they make me feel loved. Show me some love.
-I encourage you all to share this blog with other people who have computers, internet connection, and know how to read.
-No, it is not too early to be writing a post about this. I already have 6 followers, I might as well be on TMZ!
-Don't judge me! Your Bible tells you not to!
-I don't know any good blogs to follow, so if anyone wants to send me a link (excluding the ones I already follow)
-The times
that I type
like this
means
that I've gone into a trans where I have to type up my thoughts as they appear in my head.
-What was I talking about again?
-I try and keep this blog clean, which is why there's little to no swearing, and I try to keep it grammatically correct, and sprelled correctly. So if you see a spelling or grammar error, let me know, so I can find out who the show-offs are on my blog.
-All of the stories I tell are 97% true!
-I like happy endingsm which is why I try to end my blog in a logical manner and not just leave you hanging mid-sente................................................................................................................................
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-Æ

New Email

So I changed my email address, because it was not sophisticated enough for someone who is now a legal adult. And now I am well on my way of being a complete and utter computer nerd. I now have a Google Wave account, two emails, one Gmail, and the other AIM mail, a facebook, twitter, AIM, Skype, myspace, youtube, evernote, a blog, and probably more.
Thank goodness we have all of these technologies to make our lives easier. Too bad we have to remember all of the different login information for eevverryy one of them. And if we keep the same password, it just takes one person with luck at stroking the keys, and they're in to EVERYTHING.

People put their whole lives on the computer. It's the 21st century. It's expected. Who actually keeps a journal any more? That's why we have these lovely blogs! No one wants to keep their thoughts to themselves any more! They have to update their status, and tweet it and blog about it with their friends, or perfect strangers! We NEED to know what someone thinks about the fact that we just got home from school! We NEED to know who "Likes" the fact that we just made a ham sandwich. I swear, it's impossible to try to keep things to yourself these days. Once you hit send, or save, or publish, it's out there. You might as well post it on the TV's in Time Square, because if someone wants to get into your stuff, they can. Easy.

Isn't that why we have all of this security for our information? Isn't that why we have to do those stupid CAPTCHA things every time we reload our page? No.It's not. You're stupid. Go away.

The internet...

A great invention, one of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind. Right there next to the wheel and religious crusades. the only problem is that people are too addicted to it. I myself should be studying for a calculus test I have tomorrow, but instead I'm writing a dang blog!
And, of course, there's all the idiots on here.
Stupid people...
I could go on for DAYS about stupid people
I will one post...
But not today.
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah! The internet!
I also hate how the government has yet to fully embrace the internet.
And by the government, I mean schools,
And by schools, I mean MY school.
Every day I have to work as if I'm living in the 70's, and the fastest computers fit into single rooms and couldn't out-compute my cellphone.
The tediousness of highschool...
Guh...
FOCUS
INTERNET
Infinite information at will of my command, or in the case of ME and my NEW iPHONE, infinite information in the palm of my hand.
My iPhone...
Wow...
It is the KING of all smartphones. All of you Blackberry people, or you Droid people, will never win out against the all-mighty iPhone. It is just too amazing.
It is the GOD of all phones.
If God was real, he'd have an iPhone...
Oops. did I just say that??


-Æ

Reason and Emotion

I have realized that there are two main categories to divide everything that someone does, thinks, or says. The categories are "Logic" and "Emotion."
Everyone tries to think logically, instead of senseless.

It's the logical thinkers who built Rome, created the internet, and put man on the moon.
It's the emotional thinkers who had sex and gave birth to those logical ones.

It's a never ending battle between logic and emotion.

Logic lets you survive, but Emotion lets you live.

No one can ever live and be completely logical. That person is a robot
But no one can ever survive and be completely emotional. That person would probably run into traffic.

An educated person has logically concluded that to optimize their life to the fullest extents, they must only think logically in every situation, 100%. They're too smart for their own good...

This, however, will not allow the person to be happy. Yes, happy. An emotion. How can a logical person allow emotion to infect their plan for a logical life? Simple. We are not robots. We are human. Regardless to how much the logical thinkers hate hearing it, we are still human beings. We are incapable of programming ourselves to be completely efficient. We are still infected by the same emotions that an average twelve-year-old girl has. Although the logical thinkers are capable of suppressing some of the more unnecessary emotions, like rage, gluttony, jealousy, sadness, ect.

But sooner or later, the logical thinker will come across a situation that would make a computer start to buzz and screech "ERROR," something that just doesn't fit in a nice pattern of Zeros and Ones.
The rational thinker.. comes across Love. Maybe not love as in true love, maybe just lust, or 'liking someone' or whatever. If the logical thinker comes across such a situation, they are stumped. They have no files in their databanks to handle this new influx of raw data.
Then, suddenly, the heart, or 'emotion' jumps in to try to handle the situation.
The logical thinker can either allow this, or continue to try and maintain situation logically.
It is impossible to attempt to keep a logical mind in an emotional situation such as this.

The brick wall of reason is not the logical reaction to the open arms of love.
The emotional part of the brain continues to try to take over the situation. It knows what to do, and how to steer the person in the right direction. Continuing to ignore the emotional thoughts may lead to confusion on what to do next, or a belief that the 'emotional' thoughts being had are 'bad.'
The unfortunate result to the Rational thinker...

But then, simple. We think logically, and then whenever we get confused, we get emotional, right?
No. That's the philosophy of a Sixth-Grader.
One must create a balance of logic and emotion to be truly happy. They must always keep their emotions in check, but not completely caged up. Emotions are useful from time to time. Shocking. And thinking with pure logic only leads down bad roads. Have you ever seen the movie iRobot? Yeah, that's what'll happen.
Vicki the Robo-brain: "My Logic is undeniable."
Will Smith: "You have so got to die."

I know first hand what it's like dealing with both kinds of people, one of my parents is a logical thinker, and one of my parents is an emotional thinker. The logical one usually gets his way, since he evokes reason in the argument that she cannot deny. This works most of the time. Then, other times, all she has to do is delve into her emotional thought processor and make her emotions apparent, and she will get her way easily. The logical thing is to let the emotional one have what she wants, to lower the risk of further emotional trauma.
Sometimes, he, the emotional thinker, doesn't budge so easily, resulting in, what we'd like to call, a fight.*
*I may or may not have swapped him/her to keep the true identity of the parents hidden.

There are serious problems that people have when they can't properly balance their feelings with their logic. Various things can occur. The person may go into s temper tantrum, the person may go into the "I don't know" phase, where the battle of logic and emotion reaches its peak. People generally enter this phase when they are thinking about Love, and the things surrounding Love. People attempt to put logic into Love, the one place that logic does not belong.
A man hops on a plane to go hundreds, if not thousands of miles to visit his ill mother. There is no calculated logic in the reasoning of these actions. The actions are based on Love.
You know that phrase "the heart wants what it wants"? Well that's translated into "My emotional processors have overridden the logical ones and have now exclaimed that they desire something that logically makes little to no sense." Roles off the tongue, yes?
The important thing to note is that if you reach a phase of continually repeating "I don't know" about something having to do with a boy or a girl or a man or a woman or whatever, the 'logical' thing to do, is to divert the logic receptors in your processor, and allow the emotion program to start controlling the situation.

THE Æ has SPOKEN!

Alex Goes to Ohio; Writes a blog about it.

Part One: Friday
My dad got us tickets to the OSU-Minnesota game a month ago, and this weekend, we flew up to Ohio. Before we hopped onto the plane, I went to the crappy convenient-store type place at the airport where the gates are, after you go through security. My DSi is dead and my iPod is at home, so I figure why not find the book I really want to read, Jane Austen and Seth IDRC's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Unfortunately, this crapshack excuse for a bookstore did not have the book, it did however have Glenn Beck's new piece of kindling. Instead, I select a book that I saw an aquaintance read, and enjoy, about a year prior. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, by Tucker Max. I start reading it on the plane, and immediately realize the graphic nature of this literature. It is, in short, about a guy telling stories of his life of being an alcoholic man-whore. It is rather entertaining, although I refuse to allow my father to even look at the book, because I knew he'd start lecturing me about it being vile filth.

We land in Ohio, meet my grandparents, have dinner, and go to their house. They live in one of the smallest towns I have ever seen. It has one single stop light, and a McDonalds. That's.About.It.

Part Two: Game Day (Saturday)
Now, I have never lived in Ohio for more than like two weeks, and that's only because I was on an extended vacation, because my life is oh so hard. My father, however, has successfully brainwashed me, since birth, to like, and support Ohio State over any other team. And when I go into full on support mode, it means red. and lots of it. I have collected a full on costume of Ohio State clothing and accessories ranging from Ohio State underwear, to a wrist band that says 'Beat Michigan,' to Ohio State socks that go up to my mid-shin, to an Ohio State blanket that I use as a cape. I, of course, wear all of these things along with everything else Ohio State except for my Jeans. My favorite part of the outfit is the socks that I wear with my Ohio State flip flops. Sounds like a good idea, sort of, but add in the 49 degree weather with a wind chill of the last layer of Hell, and you get some problems...
We arrive in Columbus and find parking in some company's parking lot with a man in front collecting money to let us park. Not uncommon on game day. However, this man appeared as if his last warm meal was in a soup kitchen and that his favorite sport is to sit on a corner with a paper cup filled with nickles! (For those of you who don't understand what I'm saying, he appears to be a bum)
We give him the fifteen, yes FIFTEEN dollars to park there, and he gives us a ticket that could have been bought at a staples no less than a day ago. I smelled a scam, which, if it was, I would have applauded the man for such a successful plot to get money, and would have gladly bought him a hot dog, or some shampoo...

I look around as we walk, seeing everybody wearing their OSU clothing. Generally when i wear the full outfit, I feel rather out of place, especially when you live in (State far form Ohio) when everybody supports (Football team that Ohio State lost to a few years ago) However, even though I'm redder than an apple, feel at home. Although I am the only one at the game wearing flip-flops. Force of habit I guess...
We walk to the Horse Shoe (The Ohio State football Stadium) and take our seats. This, however, was quite difficult since we were ion the C deck in the nose bleeds and there was a line for the elevator filled with old people. The game begins..There is a Sea of Scarlet and Gray..The kickoff..ooooooooOOOOOOOO O-H-I-O!!

The first half is a bit of a drag, but when that second half came, Tressel turned them all into a higher gear, because they just creamed em! The final score was 38-7. It would have been a shut out, but the Golden Gophers manage to make a touchdown late in the fourth. We watch the band do script Ohio, and walk back to the car. We get to stop by a book store so I can buy my own copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. We get back to the car, and go back to my grandparents' house. My sister(3) and her boyfriend Brett have driven up here from Virginia, or wherever they live. Brett separated his shoulder playing touch football with a team that's filled bunch of girls. He is thus renamed Brettany. (Clever, no?)

We eat dinner, and play some Blokus. (For those of you who don't know what Blokus is, figure it out.) After slaughtering everyone, we all head in, and I keep reading my book. It makes me want to become a cocky a**hole, but then I realize...I'm already a cocky a**hole... oh well...

Part three: Alex gets hit in the face with a football; hilarity ensues.

I get home, go out to eat with my parents, aunt, and uncle. I take S with me to Frizbee. I want to date her but I'm stuck in the friend zone...typical...
We're playing football, i'm on defense guarding a guy, i know the ball is getting thrown to him, i put my hands in front of his, and BAM! ball hits me right on the right side of my eye. It sucks but I'm not a pansy. I get laughed at for the rest of the game, and the rest of the time there. Idc.

I'm done with this blog


-Æ

Observations

My toilet makes a high-pitched squeal after every flush

I lost my DSi charger

If I'm on the internet, and my dad gets on the internet on his computer, my computer gets slow and pissy

If I took every article of clothing and every hanger in this house, I would have twice as many hangers as clothing

I'm a professional at loosing things

My doctor has it out for me

Insurance companies hate diving boards

Both me and my father are terrible artists

I'm surprised to hear the school band thinks I'm gay when I've dated 4 girls from it.

Ultimate Frizbee should be an Olympic sport

Americans hate terrorism but support a flag that symbolizes a war that has killed more Americans than all of the other American wars combined

Compulsive buying is the only mental disorder that can help the nation's economy

Children can never not be bored

Facebook is more addicting than methamphetamine

Shay Pringle still owes me pictures from Freshman year

My last name is a city in Germany

Somewhere in my back yard, my Barney lays buried

One who repeats the same phrases over and over is called crazy,
If one has students in front of him and repeats the same phrases over and over is called Magister

Google's "Did you mean" feature has increased my spelling ability ten fold...or perhaps it has decreased it...

I do not intend on taking another online class for the rest of my life as long as ANGEL Learning is the site I must use

By thinking of M, I succeed in giving myself a stomach ache...by mere thought

I probably have a greater carbon footprint than my friends

I was taught that the Tooth-Fairy is an balding fat guy that lives in New Jersey who takes your teeth and uses them to make toilets

I don't remember ever going a full week without eating something with the word "pizza" in it

Mein Deutch ist nicht sehr gut, aber Ich leibe dich

The capitol of Burkina Faso is Ouagadougou, pronounced /ˌwɑːɡəˈduːɡuː/,

The Simpson's is starting to get old

And this blog is too... goodbye.

Snot nose

I've been needing to update this, so I am, (obviously)

Well. I've got a cold. So that sucks. I also broke up with the french girl. Reason? She was just...annoying. My mother says I'm heartless. She, however, has forgotten that I am nearly , and can run my own love life. She has decided to turn all my sisters and my cousin against me and have them call me a terrible person.

But anyway... So now I'm 'single'
I'll give you more info on a later post.

Right now I'm watching Lady Gaga on SNL singing Poker Face via piano. She's a weird little transvestite, isn't she?

I should be doing my online classes right now...too bad I'm really lazy...
I apologize for the lack of a good story for this post. My illness has killed my memory glands.

OoH! I remember what I did today!
I want to a swim meet!
That's right, I'm on the swim team at my school. I'm only good at the 50 freestyle. Sometimes the 100 freestyle...
But I AM the fastest 50 freestyler on the team. My fastest time being 24.13 seconds. Hopefully I will beat that in a few weeks. I'll let ya know. Btw, we won the meet.

What else is happening? Oh! I visited MLA, well, she visited me at the swim meet. Then we walked around town for a while... I'll finish the story later...

I named this "Snot nose" because that's what I have right now. TMA, right?

Update on BFT: So i talked it out with P and it's cool now with us 2. Always a good thing.

Also, sometimes I go through my old posts and change them a little bit, so you aren't going crazy.


-Æ

School on a Monday?

I'm in Virginia!
I went to South Carolina to see my uncle, and have him do my senior pictures. I am SO good looking...
And now I'm in Richmond visiting sister #3. I'm watching some Sunday NFL.
I don't like professional football. I like college football, but not the NFL, and I think i figured out why...
1: These people get paid nearly 1,000,000 dollars a YEAR! They, however, only provide entertainment, and don't contribute to society except to entertain. They, however, are not in the same boat as Movie Stars, because movies, and some actors, actually contribute to society.
2: Professional football players don't do anything with their lives except play football, but they still end up millionaires. Stupid, muscular, undeserving millionaires. When we have teachers that can barely support themselves.
3: It's just...guh...Idk. I just don't like it. They're all old and run slowly...

So since I'm in Virginia, and that's 12 hours away from home, I'll be missing Monday. This'll be the 3rd Monday of no school for me. Last weekend was a teacher's thing, and the week before that was Labor Day. Hence the name.

I went to the doctor's a few days ago because I have a cough that sounds like a dog bark. It shakes the windows and disturbs all of my classes when I do it. All of the kids look at me and think that I deliberately cough that loud. I don't.

The doctor just so happens to be MLA's father. He doesn't like me at all, and made it known when I was there...I'd tell more but I'm really lazy...

Update on M: I found out that she didn't delete her Facebook, as I thought... She actually blocked me... Like I originally thought... Lovely. My plan might be to mail her a letter... I have from a source that she might be coming around and might actually talk to me again. Hopefully....

College (not deep)

1/3rd of the way through a 3-day weekend.
It's a college weekend. I'm at FSU.
"Where all of your dreams will come true!"
They beat JSU 19-9. Sounds good right?
They did terrible. Everything went wrong. It was incredibly lucky that they won.
I saw my friend who's in the FSU band. She could have kicked better than the FSU kicker.
OSU lost. Unsurprising. But still depressing.
Michigan beat #18 Notre Dame!
Today, when the sun comes up, I'm gonna get a tour of campus. Should be fun.
Monday, I get to see sister #1 in action at her high school teaching math!
Every period, I'm gonna change my story of where I came from...
Alaska...
Canada...
Germany maybe? I can't do a German accent.
I have a cough that breaks windows and makes dogs howl. People mistake it for a sneeze.
Should be fun...
Then I go see MLA at her college!!
Should be fun.
Too bad her college sucks and I'm not even allowed in her room.
Then home. Swim meet Tuesday. Exciting indeed.


Update on Big Fat Truck: I'm contemplating whether I should call P and talk to him man-to-man about what I think and what he thinks. It'd be the adult thing to do...

Update on M: since BFT happened, I've been thinking of fixing that problem a little sooner than planned, since now I sit near her at lunch, which, you know, kills me slowly. But I still don't know what to do...

-Æ

Big fat truck

I met this guy. We'll call him P He seemed nice. Became good friends with him. We liked generally the same things. Hung out a lot. He was once mistaken as my "best friend."

The thing with him was that he was just awful with girls. He wasn't socially awkward with them. He actually attracted just about all of them. The only problem with him was that he, for some reason, couldn't handle the relationship scene, and just bounced the girl out of his life for reasons unknown and then turn it around to make it her fault. I saw him do this to at least 2 different girls (during our junior year) and then one more girl that's a bit more important to the story. We'll call her S.

So S is the new in girl for P. They never actually officially dated (as most people assumed)

But they practically were. Without actual physical interaction for some apparent reason.

And this goes on. Then they "break up" or whatever you want to call it. He bounces her out. Then he bounces her back in. Then back out again. And now a trilogy seemed on the horizon. They start "talking" as my friend MLA likes to refer it as.

He ALSO starts talking with my friend MLA. Fortunately the two girls were in different countries at the time. And they were never really friends, so P was in the clear, partially.

So (this is what I get from sources to be left anonymous) he talks with MLA, S, and a third girl.

"Talking" by the way is 1) The act of discussing the possibility of dating. 2) the process of getting to know a person before officially dating.

So P is talking to 3 girls. 2 of them start talking and that blows up in his face. However, since he's a professional at taking the screw ups he's made and manipulate them into just another day in the life of P.

But this 3rd girl, S, still hangs on. (Somehow)

And nothing severe happens until school starts. They go back to their "talking" with little to no results.

All of a sudden, she does something that just explodes into some sort of fight. He bounces her out, again.

She finally flies right and realizes that she shouldn't have to deal with his crap any more.

And I think I have figured out his philosophy.

He is incredibly self centered. He only thinks about himself and what he can do to keep himself happy. When he is "talking" with a girl, he goes as far as he can with the "relationship" until one thing goes wrong (regardless of who's fault it is) and then he just stops caring and bounces the girl right out again.

I've seen it done so many times I could smell it happening if I was 1,000 miles away!

So this girl once sat with us at lunch for a while. She gets bounced out, and then one day I go sit by her. I don't really like sitting there because M, the girl from my last post, sits around there and I get a big knot in my stomach when I'm around her...

I go sit by her, we talk about how big of an A-hole P has become to both of us, for no apparent reason.

Later that day, he starts conversing with my girlfriend (I'll tell you about her in another post) and says things to her that I told him in confidence. Of course the lovely thing about P is that if you want to tell him something, you better be ready to see it plastered over the cover of the New Yorker. So now she gets upset, and I get upset, and P just starts being more and more of a jerk.
This brings me to my 2nd note on the P philosophy:
Even someone who was once mistaken as his best friend, can just out of the blue get on his bad side, he twists it around in a way to make me seem like the jerk, and then just becomes worst enemies with me, all at the drop of a hat.

So now we will see if things can get better. I don't want to not be friends with the guy, he's nice sometimes, S and I agree, but now he's just in one of his A-hole moods and I'm getting dragged along for the ride. He needs to realize that when true friendship stares him right in the face, that he shouldn't just throw it away over something stupid.

I titled this "Big Fat Truck" because when I first started writing it, I wanted to throw him in front of one.

And if he is reading this, please know, P that if you don't stop acting incredibly self-centered, cocky, and arrogant, more of your friends will leave you, you will never have a decent relationship, and you will (hopefully) realize the err of your ways and go back to the P we all knew and didn't hate. The first thing you should try is to stop smoking pot, again.

M

So last year, I started dating this girl. We'll call her M. She was the best person I've ever had the honor to date. We were great for each other and had lots of fun. Then around my birthday, I T.P.ed my worst enemy's house who just happened to be one of her ex-boyfriends. She doesn't want me to do it but me and a few friends do it anyway. The next day, I find out that she calls him and tells him that I did it. So I get pissed and I break up with her. But then I had some time to think, to reassess our relationship. I did, and I realized I made a huge mistake, and I got her back.
And life was good.
Then I started thinking, (unfortunately) and then one week later, I call her up and say that we've "drifted apart" and a bunch of other B.S. I know now that that is a ridiculous reason for the circumstances because since we had a fight one week prior, we never even got to go on a date or anything to reconnect and realized how much we loved each other... So my reason was bogus... I think it might have been because the relationship was getting too real for me, and that scared me? I don't know...

But I did it. I broke up with her, again. We still wanted to be friends and we did stay friends. I even took her home one day and... nevermind...

So we try and stay friends, and it works for a while. But then we start acting a mean to each other because we still liked one another. However we stick through it and try to stay friends. We always apologized about whatever we did to make eachother mad at that moment in time. Just back and forth apology after apology.
The fights start getting worse and we start thinking one of us is mad at the other.
Then it just simmered in a vat of annoyance and arguments.
She stops liking to talk to me (expected)
She stops liking me all (also expected)
I, instead of try to solve the problem (if that's even possible) open up an entirely new fight. This, however, is the last straw, the end of the line. The next time I talked to her I tried to smooth things over. Her response?
"please leave me alone forever
i have no interest in talking to you
whatsoever
is that clear ?
now back off"

Knife through the heart...
The only girl I truly loved...
But I brought it upon myself, so please don't feel bad for me.
So what do I do now? Well, I've been trying what I think will work to try and get her to talk to me, because to this day, 3+ months later, She hasn't said a word do me. Not face to face, not on the phone, not via internet... nothing...
The only things I've really been trying was talk to her friends who are also my friends and see if her opinion of me has changed...it has not...
One of our mutual friends had a birthday party and M said to her that if I come that she'll leave until I leave... I deserve that...
All I want is to talk to her... I see her every day at school... and every time I do I bite the inside of my mouth to try and keep my composure...

I've run out of ideas for me to do. I'm thinking about mailing her a letter... although I doubt she'll open it...

If she wants to talk to me, regardless, whether she just had a breakup, or if she wants to yell at me for all of the things I've done to her, I'll be glad to listen...

And if she's reading this, then I'd just like to say that I'm sorry, and I hope you will find it in your heart to talk to me again... even if I don't deserve it...

Update, Dec 13, 2009: I know i usually update on new Blogs, but I've decided to not do that any more, and I don't want eeveryone to see this and think i'm insane,
but anyways
M had unblocked me
I can't put into words what emotions I feel, but I'll just say that they are positive ones.

I'm a big boy now

I'm a senior now at my High school...
It's interesting to see these freshmen walking around my school, so young and naive...
I had a party for my swim team and a bunch of them came over. They are SO stupid!
They just follow each other like lemmings off a cliff.
And they're SSOO SHORT! It's ridiculous.
Some of the girls are pretty cute though...
They're also pretty dumb...
Oh! To be young and stupid again!
The 2 biggest regrets of my freshman year were
1: Dating a girl who we'll call CL.
2: Joining, and staying in NJROTC.
...in that order

ROTC was actually fun when I was a freshman, but then I realized i didn't like being told what to do by idiots, so i finally got out of it 2nd semester of my sophomore year. (It's a cult, if you didn't know)
And this girl...
We call her CL because it stands for Crazy Lorra.
(BTW look up Lorra in the UrbanDictionary.)
She was, as you'd guess, crazy, and a compulsive liar, and a few other words that I'd rather not use at the present time...
But eventually I realized that she WAS crazy AND a compulsive liar and finally I ended it... (Not soon enough)
So that was my freshman year in a nutshell. I also did swimming...but I wasn't very good then so I didn't really want to talk about it...
I'm much better now...as a senior...

My first entry! (I'm so proud)

So my name is Alex, A.K.A. Zander, Noah, X, obnoxious kid over there, Butters, Erlenbach, or Nelson, depending on who is talking or typing. I created this blog in hopes that it would get turned into a mini series on lifetime! (Not really)
I named this blog "Some kid with a father, four mothers, and a cat" because that's my life in the simplest terms. I'm just some kid, living somewhere in these United States. I'm nothing special, at least not yet.... I have a father. He is the smartest man I've ever met, and also the most logical. I could come to him for anything (even though I don't)
I have 4 mothers, not because my father was a player, I have my actual mother, and 3 older sisters. They are between 4 to 6 years older than me 2 of them being twins, and they are also incredibly smart. They basically teach me everything I need to know to survive in this world, ever since they started picking out my clothes when i was in 2nd grade. (They don't any more)
And I have a cat. He just lays around all day, or goes outside to fight crime with the friendly neighborhood raccoons.
I have a lot of thoughts, and I decided this would be the best way to get them out of my head. So here I go. (Wish me luck)